Saturday, January 26, 2013

The week from...

What a week this has been... Sunday the 20th was my 31st birthday, and it will not soon be forgotten. It started with a long morning at church, as I was on worship team and Gabe was service captain. In the middle of the last service, I got a text from my Aunt Brenda reading "I know it isn't happy but I am thinking of you on your birthday." Interesting... She knows how I feel about growing older and so I assumed that was her meaning. After church, we headed home but knew that we were going to my Moms pretty quickly because I had my baby shower there that afternoon. My Dad had sent Gabe a text asking that we got there quickly with no other details. So I called my Mom to check in and find out if there was anything I needed to do / bring with me for the shower. She ended up telling me over the phone that my Grandma Jan had a massive heart attack in the night and had been pronounced dead originally but was in surgery. I immediately melted down, exclaiming that I simply wasn't ready for this yet. It took about 20 minutes but I pulled myself together and we decided we would go on with the shower, since my Grams would have wanted us to. The rest of the day is pretty blurry... celebrating life for Baby T while starting to grieve your grandma is no easy emotional task. Fast forward to end of the evening and Grandma was officially pronounced dead. There was simply no brain activity and so they "pulled the plug". My aunt says it took about 4 minutes and that it was very peaceful.

Fast forward to Tuesday night and Piper starts acting funny. I know, I know, she's a dog... she is my baby though and I had no emotional energy to face her being sick. Of course, my mind goes to cancer, tumors and the such and by the time we had called the emergency vet, I was convinced she was a goner. Turns out, she has the flu and while any other week it would have been a minor event, it made the week that much tougher. I am happy to report that she is close to back to being my sassy, barky, stubborn Piper. And while I know she isn't 100%, I am just grateful it wasn't something more serious.

And then we're back to Grandma and the arrangements to be made. My grandparents are snow birds, so they were in Arizona when this happened. They live in Runnells, IA the rest of the year and that is where their graves are. So Grandma had to be flown back, as did my Grandpa and my aunt and uncle who went to help on Sunday. Long story short, the visitation is Sunday and the funeral is Monday. In case you have forgotten (ha) I am 35 weeks pregnant and am facing a 6 hour drive. I immediately called my midwife, praying that she would allow me to travel. She agreed, on the condition that we only went one night and that I followed her traveling instructions. Thank you Jesus for such a boring pregnancy, as she told me if I had another pregnancy like Mataya's, there is no way I could have gone.

So tomorrow morning, Gabe, Mataya and I will head to Iowa. I can't say I am looking forward to the actual events by any means, but I am looking forward to the closure. When she had a stroke awhile ago, I began the grieving process as I knew this was inevitable. She was also dealing with Alzheimers and was no longer the Grandma that I had grown up with and had the first 28 years or so. She is with Jesus and she is whole. No more pain or not being able to remember. She doesn't want to come back as much as we miss her. She is with my sweet baby that I miscarried last January.

There are days that are going to be hard, no doubt. She was the 2nd person we called when Mataya was born and won't be there to call when Baby T comes. her birthday is next week and that will be rough. And if I am honest, my birthday will never be the same.

As for this weekend, I hope to celebrate who she was and to allow myself to grieve, because she wouldn't want us to sit and wallow. She simply didn't roll like that.
(If you made it through this entire post, I am impressed. It was mainly so that I would remember. My goal next week is to write her a good bye letter, with memories and celebration. That will be more fun to read, I promise!)

1 comments:

melbys said...

Aubrey, I'm so sorry to hear this news. Praying for you and your family. And praying that Piper is feeling better by now as well!