Monday, February 11, 2013

37 + 3

37 weeks and 3 days ... pregnant that is. I have so many emotions about this whole process that its hard to be vocal about it. On one hand, I am done! This child needs to get out now! I am uncomfortable, sweaty, and occasionally miserable. Then I remember that this is probably it for me and being pregnant. One girl, one boy and we're done. I should be treasuring these last days as a Mom of one. I should be so grateful for how truly easy and unexciting this pregnancy has been. I wish I could live in the moment of it all - instead I am anxiously awaiting this little boy's arrival so I can figure out our new reality as a family of 4.
I promise I will get my book reviews done in the next few days, as well as give you the list of my February choices. Stick with me - I'm still here :)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The week from...

What a week this has been... Sunday the 20th was my 31st birthday, and it will not soon be forgotten. It started with a long morning at church, as I was on worship team and Gabe was service captain. In the middle of the last service, I got a text from my Aunt Brenda reading "I know it isn't happy but I am thinking of you on your birthday." Interesting... She knows how I feel about growing older and so I assumed that was her meaning. After church, we headed home but knew that we were going to my Moms pretty quickly because I had my baby shower there that afternoon. My Dad had sent Gabe a text asking that we got there quickly with no other details. So I called my Mom to check in and find out if there was anything I needed to do / bring with me for the shower. She ended up telling me over the phone that my Grandma Jan had a massive heart attack in the night and had been pronounced dead originally but was in surgery. I immediately melted down, exclaiming that I simply wasn't ready for this yet. It took about 20 minutes but I pulled myself together and we decided we would go on with the shower, since my Grams would have wanted us to. The rest of the day is pretty blurry... celebrating life for Baby T while starting to grieve your grandma is no easy emotional task. Fast forward to end of the evening and Grandma was officially pronounced dead. There was simply no brain activity and so they "pulled the plug". My aunt says it took about 4 minutes and that it was very peaceful.

Fast forward to Tuesday night and Piper starts acting funny. I know, I know, she's a dog... she is my baby though and I had no emotional energy to face her being sick. Of course, my mind goes to cancer, tumors and the such and by the time we had called the emergency vet, I was convinced she was a goner. Turns out, she has the flu and while any other week it would have been a minor event, it made the week that much tougher. I am happy to report that she is close to back to being my sassy, barky, stubborn Piper. And while I know she isn't 100%, I am just grateful it wasn't something more serious.

And then we're back to Grandma and the arrangements to be made. My grandparents are snow birds, so they were in Arizona when this happened. They live in Runnells, IA the rest of the year and that is where their graves are. So Grandma had to be flown back, as did my Grandpa and my aunt and uncle who went to help on Sunday. Long story short, the visitation is Sunday and the funeral is Monday. In case you have forgotten (ha) I am 35 weeks pregnant and am facing a 6 hour drive. I immediately called my midwife, praying that she would allow me to travel. She agreed, on the condition that we only went one night and that I followed her traveling instructions. Thank you Jesus for such a boring pregnancy, as she told me if I had another pregnancy like Mataya's, there is no way I could have gone.

So tomorrow morning, Gabe, Mataya and I will head to Iowa. I can't say I am looking forward to the actual events by any means, but I am looking forward to the closure. When she had a stroke awhile ago, I began the grieving process as I knew this was inevitable. She was also dealing with Alzheimers and was no longer the Grandma that I had grown up with and had the first 28 years or so. She is with Jesus and she is whole. No more pain or not being able to remember. She doesn't want to come back as much as we miss her. She is with my sweet baby that I miscarried last January.

There are days that are going to be hard, no doubt. She was the 2nd person we called when Mataya was born and won't be there to call when Baby T comes. her birthday is next week and that will be rough. And if I am honest, my birthday will never be the same.

As for this weekend, I hope to celebrate who she was and to allow myself to grieve, because she wouldn't want us to sit and wallow. She simply didn't roll like that.
(If you made it through this entire post, I am impressed. It was mainly so that I would remember. My goal next week is to write her a good bye letter, with memories and celebration. That will be more fun to read, I promise!)

Friday, January 18, 2013

48 in 2013 - Review #1

Where We Belong by Emily Giffin

Okay, so about 20 or so pages in, I realized I had already read this book... Bummer! However I finished it again, forgetting many of the details and the fun ending. I love Emily Giffin's books in general and have read what I am pretty sure is all of them. She makes me laugh but also feel the other emotions in the book. Her character development is fantastic. In this story, a high powered tv producer finds herself answering the door one evening to a 18 year girl claiming to be her daughter. Surprise! The storyline was quite realistic and I liked that both point of views (mom and daughter) were represented. If you are looking for a quick, easy, read on the beach kind of book, this is for you!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

A Girl and Her Puppy

If you know me in real life, you know my dog. My "first born", is a 12 lb. miniature pinscher mixed  with rat terrier adopted from the Humane Society 3 years ago. Piper drives me up the wall most days and yet I cannot imagine life without her.

Part of the reason I cannot imagine life without her is because Mataya doesn't know life without her. I had no idea how Piper would do with a baby after being "the baby" for almost a year. Piper has honestly been the best dog when it comes to how tolerant she is of my rowdy 2 year old.

 This is the day we brought Mataya home from the hospital. Piper did not let her out of her sight for a solid 24 hours. I am sure she wondered when we were going to take her back to wherever she came from!

If I ever sat Mataya up on the couch, Piper was quickly to follow, almost as if she wanted to make sure Mataya wouldn't slide off. This is when Piper still outweighed Mataya :)

 Having some swinging time - these girls are rarely apart!

This picture is a great representation of Mataya and Piper's relationship currently. They wrestle and cuddle, fuss at each other and are more like sisters than I could have imagined. 

My sweet girls. I am so glad Mataya has this special friend. Piper is absolutely fabulous with her and I couldn't have asked for a more tolerant, sweeter mutt when it came to kids in my life. She is protective  and I have no doubt she would keep her safe no matter what. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Alot To Do in 6 Weeks

So Baby Boy Thaman is due in about 6 weeks... where in the world did the last 7 months go? It seems to have gone so much faster this time than it did with Mataya. Probably because I simply can't spend the time thinking about it. When I got pregnant this time, I started making a list of all the "projects" I wanted to get done before he came along. A majority of them are still in process, but a few of them are FINISHED! And what is better than a finished project? Very few things if you ask me!

Project #1- Mataya being day time potty trained - DONE!

This was easier than once expected, since she basically decided she was ready. She is wearing panties all day, except nap time and has only had one accident in 4 weeks! I have no real tricks or tips as to the easiest way to potty train. THE CHILD HAS TO BE READY! You can't force it or you are simply setting up everyone for failure. At this point, she is simply taking off her panties and going into the bathroom on the big girl potty. I don't have to tell her or remind her at all! When we are in public I am still very proactive about asking and making sure she goes on a regular basis. She tends to get overstimulated and forgets. All this being said, she is still in a diaper at nap time and bedtime. We have tried a few times to wear panties through nap and her body simply isn't ready for that yet. When she starts waking up dry on a regular basis, we'll try again. Not stressed about it!

Project #2- Mataya sleeping in her big girl bed - DONE!
I wasn't really excited about this, because I had always been told that you leave a child in their crib until they can climb out. Mataya had fallen out once and never tried again, so why ruin a good thing ? However, she no longer fits in the pack and play. We travel enough that we needed her to be able to sleep on a pallet on the floor or on a pull out couch. So, the transition began... Over Christmas she slept on a pull-out bed in a hotel. We simply told her it was her "big girl" bed and that she couldn't get down until we told her. She did AWESOME! When we got home, Gabe took the front off her crib, again talking about a cute and fancy big girl bed. She gets right in, covers up, and  stays there all night. She does have a gate in front of her door so she doesn't go roaming, but so far she hasn't got up until we told her she could come to the gate. My baby is all grown up!

Project #3 - Converting loft office into playroom - DONE!
Well, mainly done and usable. I have several decoration things I want to do in there. We also still need to get 4 childproof locks for the doors before I let Mataya play up there alone. I am loving it because it is as if Mataya got all these new toys! They had all been in the old playroom (which will be the baby's room) and it had become storage, not usable play space. I am planning a full post on the playroom, so I am not going to post pictures for now.

Project #4 - Garage cleaned out and up - not even started!
I had grand plans of getting our garage in order when I put all the Christmas decor away, but I became absolutely overwhelmed when going at it alone. I need to get my Mom over here - she is fabulous at these sort of projects and she can tolerate my cold garage.

Project #5 - Finish Mataya's baby book - making progress...
I really would like to get Mataya's baby book finished before Baby Boy gets here. I just feel like if I have any hope of him having a filled out book, hers needs to be done first! It is just a matter of getting the right pictures printed and filling in some blanks. It's simply been an off the radar project the last, oh, 2 years :)

I am determined that 2013 is going to be the year of finishing the unfinished. The unfinished scrapbooks, organizing the OUT OF CONTROL picture library on our computer (we're talking over 15,000 pictures),  following through with craft projects and not dropping out of Bible Study this semester. The list could go on and on and on!

Friday, January 4, 2013

48 Books in 2013

I am a reader. There are few things I love better than curling up with a good book and reading to my heart's content. Granted, this doesn't happen as often as I would like, given that I have a 2 year old who only naps for so long each day, (and sometimes not at all!) So one of my "resolutions", if you will, is to make time to read. I think it is important for several reasons. I deserve time to read, to escape and just be alone in my own world. I didn't read a single book for a year after M was born. A YEAR! In that same breath, I want M to share my love of reading, which so far, she does. I want to set an example. I want her to see me reading and to know that she is always welcome to read along beside me.

So, all this to say, in my own OCD world, a system has been set up so that I will read 48 books in the year 2013. It's a lofty goal, especially with a baby on the way, but very attainable. My plan is to read 4 books a month. One fiction/novel, one parenting/family, one "spiritual" and one misc (ie whatever looks good at the library). The books for January have been chosen and here they are!





I have already read 2 of these this year (I know, right!) and will be sharing my opinion of them soon. I am absolutely giddy with the idea of being a "reader" again. Now if I could only cut back the reality tv time...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2013 Begins

Alright, so I am finally back in the blogging world... I make no promises as to keeping up as there will be a new baby here in February. Yes, that's right, Baby Boy Thaman will be arriving sometime in late February! 

God and I have been having lots of chats as of late, as I am beyond overwhelmed with the idea of having a busy, sassy, spirited toddler and a newborn. However, I am clearly hearing that there is a plan and that the anxiety I am feeling is from Satan himself. I also continue to hear the word "enough" in my quiet times.  As first I thought, enough what? As I pondered the word, I realized pretty quickly that I need constant reminding that my God is enough. When I have nothing else to give as a wife, mom, friend, sister and daughter, He is enough. There is nothing he cannot handle. 

The deeper I dig, the word takes on another meaning as well. When I was growing up, when my Mom was fed up with my sister and I squabbling, she would simply say "enough!" I think God might be saying the exact same thing. Enough complaining about what you don't have, enough comparing yourself to others, enough trying to be someone you are not, . We are so beyond blessed and definitely have enough, but I get caught up in what we don't have instead. 
Enough- so many different meanings for me this year and yet so simple in the same moment.